Since 2022 I undertook study to become an End of Life Doula.

What is a Doula you may ask? It essentially is going back to the way death and funerals were done generations ago. Before much of the funeral industry took this responsibility away from families. It is giving you choice!

A Doula walks alongside a dying person and supports a family with their death journey. They assist in home care of the body, help with funerals, arrangements, generally assist the family to do as much or as little as they are comfortable with. We try to empower others to have the best end of life experience possible.

Often when a loved one is dying, there are loads of questions and decisions to make. It is good to be able to not lose control of the proceedings, by having someone alongside of you to advocate and know what is allowed to be done under New Zealand law.

In this work I see death as a natural and sacred part of life. Not something to fear. Often indigenous people do death well. I aim to respect people’s differing religious and cultural beliefs. I never stop learning.

We need as a society to demystify dying, and all that is associated with it. And see it as a natural, inevitable part of life for everyone.

Death scares many people. Some even act as though it is contagious! But, for those who embrace death, get involved, don’t shut the dead away; they find it a healing, strangely beautiful and precious place. Sure it is always going to be really hard. But, giving that Final Gift of caring for someone alive and passed is something as yet, I have never known anyone to regret.

As we have more and more of an aging population, the funeral industry is going to grow. We need to explore other options, eco friendly disposal, less expensive alternatives, home funerals. We need to go back to how death has been done for centuries and family to take care of their own as much as they are able.